Tom Sawyer Diner

This is a restaurant you'll probably never visit, and you have no reason to, even if you're desperately hungry at the wee hours of the night in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

And, honestly, I wouldn't write about it here, except that, in all honesty, I feel like things have gotten a bit too serious over at ZagatWho as of late. Gone are the funny pictures, and the witty comparisons of our food to some long-forgotten childhood memories, replaced with-- surprisingly enough-- real writing about restaurants.

So I invite you to slum it with me as I write an entry about a restaurant entirely undeserving of one.

The theming of the Tom Sawyer Diner ends at the name-- there is no other mention of Tom Sawyer, a whitewashed fence, or Mark Twain anywhere in the establishment. It's sort of like the Cheesecake Factory in that way, except they actually serve cheesecake (albeit not in a factory-like environment). This is also where comparisons to the Cheesecake Factory end.

I admire their honesty-- the ubiquitous diner dessert glass case did feature desserts, but the staff had chosen not to remove their tell-tale price tags and wrappings, betraying any notion of a home-cooked pie. Store bought through-and-through.

The food was less than unremarkable-- it was hardly edible (if CitySearch rated in Harrisburg, this place would get a negative score). Virginia mentioned that her tuna melt "smelled like death" and the beef gravy atop Andrew's meatloaf tasted like it was probably distilled from the sweat of the eponymous singer-songwriter. My open-faced turkey sandwich featured turkey meat older than the Berlin Wall, with the consistency of Butterball sandwich meat (pressed turkey product, I suppose). The baked mac and cheese looked like coffee cake and tasted like nothing.

And the service. It started out nicely enough, but quickly took a nosedive. I sort of blame myself for this-- why, Ravi, must you be so picky? After she dropped off our plates, I kept eyeing her suspiciously (not out of lust-- she was, as Virginia pointed out using an Arrested Development reference oft repeated throughout the trip, a bit of a "shemale"). She eventually cut herself on something at the bar, but continued to serve food with an open wound on her hand (occasionally sucking the blood out of the wound because, well, that's the sanitary thing to do, right?). I began to count the health code violations in my head, if only so that I wouldn't have to focus on the taste of the horrible food. Eventually, she got a bandage, but it wasn't big enough to cover the wound in my heart. Or the vomit.

Ravi

The Good...

I went up to San Francisco this weekend, and filled myself up with some amazing food (including delicious homemade pancakes care of Jason and Kayvan). But this is blog is all about restaurants, so let's do it to it...

The first was Indian Oven, in the Lower Haight district. This non-descript restaurant had quite the wait outside (nearly 30 minutes), but was well worth it. The restaurant had a very homey feel to it. It was very intimate, the perfect place for a nice, relaxing dinner with friends.

This being a special occasion (no idea why though), we decided to go all out, ordering wine and an appetizer. While going to the restroom, I noticed an amazing appetizer dish ("assorted appetizers") on another patron's table, so we ordered it ourselves. It consisted of a samosa, vegetable pakora (spinach, onion, and potato dipped in a chick pea batter), and papadum (a sun-dried lentil wafer). The samosa was rather tasty, with just the right amount of kick to it that was a great complement to the amazingly sweet mango chutney. The pakora tasted like onion rings for the most part-- it was hard to really tell what you were eating-- but was satiating nonetheless. The papadum was a bit plain, until you added the mango chutney, becoming an outstanding combo.

I went with the dal (assorted lentils delicately spiced with sauteed ginger and garlic) for my main course (it was more than enough with the rice and garlic naan). I'm used to eating Ethiopian food, so I was very familiar with the dal (which is almost identical to some Ethiopian lentil dishes). The dal had a subtle (re: plain) taste, but was meant to be eaten with the naan (which was perfectly garlicky). Together, I couldn't get enough of them. The rice was flavorful by itself, needing nothing to kick it up a notch. Like I said, I ordered wine, a Riesling, Yalumba "Y" series (a white wine), that was sweet, with a slight apple taste to it, which went well with the mildly spicy dal.

I didn't try much else, because I had enough to deal with myself (waaaay to much dal), but it was definitely a satisfying meal. My fellow diners were also satisfied. And the fact that there were a few Indians enjoying the restaurant as well made me think that it was pretty authentic Indian food.

Indian Oven proved to be a great find in the city.

Indian Oven
233 Fillmore St
San Francisco, CA 94117


I also had the opportunity to go to the greatest food court in the world... found in a mall (because that's usually where food courts are). The mall (the Westfield San Francisco Centre), only a couple blocks from Union Square, is your typical high-end fashion mall (much like the Beverly Center here). Except, the luxury of the Beverly Center stops just before the food court. At the San Francisco Centre, the food court is an extension of the kind of luxury you can find at the nearby Bloomingdales (i.e. no Fat Burger, Sbarro, or McDonald's, de rigueur at most mall food courts). Food is served on white plates (similar to the presentation plates ubiquitous on the Food Network), alongside silverware. Soda can be served in a glass, and most restaurants (?) offer beer and wine.

After debating between Japanese food (the tempura platter was rather enticing), Korean food (the smell of Korean BBQ was tempting), and a steakhouse, I went with the steakhouse, the Buckhorn Grill, because I saw three people with Roadhouse Onions-- I'm a sucker for high end (-ish) onion rings.

I went with the Little Buck Sandwich (the perfect size), the side of Roadhouse Onions, and a soda. The meat was amazing-- it was so flavorful, juicy, and rather tender. I couldn't get enough of the carmelized onions either. For a rather simple sandwich (just tri-tip and onions on a french roll), it was bursting with flavor. It was the perfect choice. The Roadhouse Onions were what I expected-- fried deliciousness (is that a word? because it is now). With a little ketchup, it was a great side dish. Not nearly as oily as most onion rings, it didn't seem too unhealthy (although they give you so much, it still probably is). Getting all this, in a food court, at a mall, for only $8?! That's pretty insane.

...Apparently the redesigned Century City Mall has a similar food court (with a few of the same choices). It may be worth a gander.

Westfield San Francisco Centre
865 Market St.
San Francisco CA 94103

mrs. knott's in pictures

the restaurant. cool hat, man.


old newspapers on the wall


dear lord, the heavenly biscuits.



so warm, and buttery.



creamy chicken noodle soup (so salty, yum!) and side salad.



daryl & cindy



fried chicken (!!!!!!!), mashed 'taters, corn.



mindy!



daryl & cindy again (with chicken)



pete



ravi



and this is how you get mo' biscuits.

Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner Restaurant

There's a song that comes to mind, and I'm not proud to admit it, but you've all heard it. It's by The Fray (will they still be popular in the fall... say, around September 24th or 25th?) and I think it's called "Over My Head."

Heeding Kathy's warning, I hadn't eaten all day (some would argue that, by the time we arrived, I was so famished my stomach was tied up in Knott's, but I wouldn't stoop that low with a pun).

The "deets":
- Salad
- Soup
- Unlimited buttermilk biscuits (while I remain partial to the Fogo de Chao biscuits, these were still delicious)
- Side dish: corn (everyone's wise choice at our table) or a weird-sounding ham+cabbage number
-3 pieces of fried chicken
- mashed potatoes and gravy
- Your choice of boysenberry sherbet or a fruit pie.

In the short time I've lived in LA, I guess I've become "LA." Food isn't enough. Ambience counts for something in my book, and Mrs. Knott's has none (well, it has a truck stop ambience...) but, more importantly, no air conditioning. It was sweltering in there, people. For that matter, virtually all of the "California Marketplace" shops had no a/c, which isn't very Californian.

But back to the food. The chicken was far and away the star of the meal. I won't bother with the sides, because they were predicable and not stellar (you've probably eaten corn before). The chicken, however was moist, tender, and white, with a crispy brown skin. Delicious.

In many ways, Knott's Berry Farm is merely a shadow of its former glory-- the park was sold to Cedar Fair LP about ten years ago, and the food businesses (jams, etc.) were sold to ConAgra Foods about eight years ago. Inexplicably, Cedar Fair's first plan was to add a replica of Independence Hall to their parking lot. I don't know why. I'd like to think the restaurant also deteriorated (because it's easier to blame corporate accountants for cost-cutting than genuine employee negligence)-- once spotless, its most recent regular inspection cited violations for vermin and other small insects in the food preparation areas. Had I known this before... well, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to try the chicken.

And the chicken made it worth the trip.

Ravi

Orange County: where good bargains go bad.

If I retired in Orange County I think I'd have to hire a live-in chef.

The day began early at 9:00AM, which, on Saturday time, approximates 6:00AM. Fortunately, I didn't have to throw a tantrum to get Mickey and Kathy to drive out of our way to Ikea for breakfast.

IKEA
We saw their $0.99 breakfast advertised in front of the store whilst on our way to San Diego the weekend before (see previous entry). Hours (nay, DAYS) of internet research later, I craved it-- what could be wrong with $0.99 for two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and seasoned potatoes?

Nothing, except for the crazy/mentally unstable IKEA employee who served us. Basically, imagine a whole lot of crazy wrapped up in sass with a nice sprinkling of "the Health Department ain't the boss of me" and you've got the woman that served us our food.

Despite the odd environment of the "Bistro" (which, apparently, isn't normal for an IKEA store), I decided to splurge: lingonberry pancakes for $1 more and then a cinnamon bun and coffee to split with Mickey for another $1. While the eggs/bacon/potato portion of the breakfast tasted good, the coffee was watery, the cinnamon bun tasted stale (despite being freshly baked) and the lingonberry pancakes had the texture of the forearm of one of those tough guys who likes to put out his cigarette butts on his person. Burn marks aplenty. Lingonberries are tasty, though.


such hopes and dreams...


ikea breakfast (worth every penny, all 200 of 'em): swedish pancake, lingonberry, potatoes, eggs & bacon (also note, free tropicana juice)


had the ikea staff been on their a-game, they wouldn't have let these babies go unpaid for. they are quite difficult to open however.


A for ambiance.

TORTILLA JO'S
Let me start by saying that I'm generally opposed to "restaurant groups"-- companies that operate multiple facilities with no real focus on the food type, but rather the income segment they're trying to capture. Tortilla Jo's, operated by the Patina Restaurant Group, pleasantly surprised me-- the food, while probably not authentic, was tasty and plentiful.

Still, it came at too steep a price for me to go again. Orange County has tons of cheap Mexican food restaurants, and even though I haven't tried most (or any) of them, this place won't make my Top Ten, simply because $15 for a burrito is too much money.

The environment was pleasant and fun. The wait: almost unbearable after a day at the park (TJ's is located in Downtown Disney).

Basically, I have no doubt Tortilla Jo's is the best tasting and best value restaurant in Downtown Disney, but that's like being the smartest kid in the slow class. While I love Disney, and generally don't mind handing them my hard-earned cash, Downtown Disney Anaheim is a little too "we'll distract you with pretty buildings while we rob you blind" for my taste.


ravi's burrito and strawberry margarita (also note: ravi made the keen observation that their chip to dip ratio was off. they gave tons of chips, and not enough dip for it. however, both were quite salty and tasty)


mickey's carnitas (w/ beans + rice). he was disappointed to report that their carnitas were not tender.


my wet burrito (sans cheese, sour cream and beans). mexicans hate me. it looks albino because i can't operate the flash.


"I SAY, I DEMAND SOME SERVICE!", he bellowed.


My face immediately after some kid popped the balloon of another kid. Another note: Tortilla Jo's margaritas very strong. You could still taste the tequila in Ravi's strawberry (this ain't no Acapulco's) and I could practically whiff the alcohol from Mickey's from a foot away.

In summary: Fortune magazine missed the mark, apparently, when they claimed IKEA was one of the top 100 places to work, and Disney hit the mark entirely when planning a shopping district to win the hearts and wallets of guests.

OVERALL:
Ikea:


Tortilla Jo's:


Chipotle:


All photos and photo comments posted by Kathy!

i could retire in san diego

and eat until my girth matches my height.

last weekend, ravi and i (with mickey in tow) had the delight of eating at four establishments on one sunday. we had krispy kreme for breakfast, noodles&co. for lunch, extraordinary desserts after that and china well for dinner.

KRISPY KREME

unfortunately, you cannot walk into a krispy kreme store and get a free sample of an original glazed anymore. as of january 3, 2006-- only 12 and under punks get this courtesy. when we got there, we each decided to get the 2 donut + 1 small coffee for $1.99. ravi and mickey got the flavor of the month: creamy caramel, so you'll have to ask them about it. as always, krispy kreme has a wide selection of overly sugarly donuts that disappear in nanoseconds. good, but a tad overrated. especially if you don't get free samples. grr.


ravi's original glazed.


blinded by the awesome sight of the krispy kreme.


the creamy caramel (note the oozing caramel)


i want free shit.

NOODLES & CO.

this restaurant is a kind of fast-food noodle place. we came here because some former chipotle executives moved to this company and ravi wanted to check it out. it has different types of noodles with weird american twists to them. mickey and ravi got the japanese pan noodles which were supposed to be udon noodles with ginger glaze on them, and i think that is probably the best thing on the menu. i got the penne rosa which was penne pasta with tomato cream sauce. it was a little too creamy for my taste, but was fairly filling. the food is not really worth the price (~$6) for the quality and the quantity that you get. you get filled with a large bowl, but you can't help but feel slightly stiffed. the food is also very heavy, which kind of makes you feel gross afterwards.


ravi's japanese pan noodles.


mickey's japanese pan noodles.


mmm penne rosa.

EXTRAORDINARY DESSERTS

i was excited about this place-- since ravi had been looking forward to checking it out and my staffer had been telling me how awesome the food is. basically, this place is pricey (for desserts) but their desserts are simply amazing. beautiful yet decadent. however, their hostesses and waitresses are not attentive (unless, i suspect, you are white/old/rich) and their chocolate cakes might be TOO chocolatey for those that are not as dessert-inclined. if you're ever down in SD, and have a hankerin' for something sweet (and someone else is paying), then i would recommend the torta misu (not as heavy as the other cakes, deeeelicious, and only $7 a slice!) oh yea, everything has flowers on it. classy.


creme brulee


some sort of chocolate cake


fruit tart.




napoleons.


rich people don't use packet sugar. they use crystallized brown sugar. duh.


expensive coffee.


kiwi lemonade. kind of gross.


my torta misu!


mickey's au chocolate


ravi's bette noire

CHINA WELL (San Clemente)

this is mickey's uncle&aunt's restaurant, and every time i go, they pile on the delicious foods. if you city search it (google: china well, san clemente) you'll see that many people in the area love the family style restaurant and the great food. this time they gave us chicken chow mein, beef and broccoli (for ravi), pork mushu and this special seven seas dish with seafood in it. yumyumyumyumyumyumyumyum.


we took the picture halfway through the meal because we forgot to take photos when the food first came.


sea food


chicken chow mein


beef and broccoli


quite a day!