Bazaar by Jose Andres

The SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills

(Photos by Daryl! The complete album is available here.)

I think we all have that friend we love, but only in small doses. He stays the weekend twice a year, you two paint the town red and, by Sunday, you're ready to get rid of him. Then Tuesday rolls around and you're already looking forward to his next visit.

That's kind of like Bazaar for me. It was three hours and, at points, it felt just plain gimmicky (I'm looking at you, $16 "magic mojito" that was really just cotton candy with rum and mint poured on it). At other times, though, a complete reimagination of food I thought I knew. And in a good way.

Here are some standouts:

This is "not your everyday caprese salad," and it's true. I can tell you, though, that should this dish ever become the "everyday" caprese salad, we wouldn't need war or religion. Those little

white mozzarella balls? They're liquefied, and they burst in your mouth. You get all three flavors-- the cheese, the tomato and the basil-- all at once, and all perfectly balanced.

Lest you think all I've got here is praise, take a look at these babies. They aren't mutant lobsters; they're Bazaar's reimagining of a Philly Cheesesteak. And, well, they aren't very good, despite the waiter's claim that they're a signature dish. The "air bread" it's served on? Sort of like a fancy hollowed out creme puff, minus the sweetness, and filled with too much cheese. Throw a few pieces of Kobe beef on top (sparingly!) and that's the sandwich.

Here's one of the two shrimp dishes we ordered. In fact, everyone at the tabled ordered it, so you know we had high hopes. And it certainly delivered. But if these shrimp were potential mates, and you were a high school girl (work with me here), they'd be the "nice guy"-- reliable, and someone to become good friends with, but not someone to date. Though they appeared on the side of the menu devoted to fantastical creations, they looked pretty traditionally prepared to me.

Same goes for the steak. These two plates were the [insert your favorite character actor here] of the meal.

Then came dessert.

The big winner for me was definitely the "Passionfruit Coconut Floating Nitro Island." Not too much passionfruit, and just the right amount of coconut, on a pedestal of perfectly prepared bananas. The texture was kind of like the cross between a whipped cream and a soft meringue, and it was probably the best dessert I've ever had that didn't include a lick of chocolate.

And so, three hours later (and two seatings), the meal was over. I was ready for it to be over too, not in the least because no chairs we sat in offered back support, and I'm too old for these designer seats.

Still, I loved that meal. And while I've had my fill of molecular gastronomy for the time being, I can't wait for my next adventure.

Dessert @ Simon|LA

Let's start with the basics: SimonLA is located in the newly renovated Sofitel(LA) on Beverly Blvd. across from the eponymous Beverly Center.





And now the meat of the matter.





We went to Simon to try their signature dish-- the Junk Food Sampler. At $25, it's not a dessert meant to be sampled by just one person. Nor could you without dying.





What you get varies slightly-- In other words, I didn't get what was in this picture. We got: cotton candy, the rice krispies, two cupcakes, two "snowballs", a vanilla milk shake, a fair size of caramel corn, a bag with three cookies inside, and a scoop of sorbet (which seemed out of place on a junk food platter and dangerously approaching the "moderately healthy" category).

Like memories of my childhood, nothing stood out. Everything was good-- and a reasonable facsimile of the real thing-- but the novelty wore thin fairly quickly, even though we only ordered three to split with ten people.

We tried other desserts too-- some strange avocado-chocolate puddingish thing that actually tasted pretty good and a banana-caramel chocolate cake that also scores high marks for taste but was, ultimately, lost in my desensitized taste buds.

Do what Simon says and go try it once, if that's your thing.

Paddington's Tea Room

In an attempt to revive this sad, neglected little blog, I will post about my experience last weekend at Paddington's Tea Room in Beverly Hills. However, I implore all the other Zagat Whooligans to please post about restaurants (including some San Francisco reviews, ahem ahem).

Paddington's Tea Room is an intimate little shop that was basically created and decorated by some crazy British lady who apparently (really, really) loves florals and Paddington Bear. The server was a little creepy, but very attentive and nice. Not quite a recreation of my UK hey-day, but close enough for Los Angeles.

I went on a weekend, so they only serve afternoon tea (3 courses, $25) and high tea (5 courses, $35), but I believe if you go on weekdays you can order individual items from the cafe menu. I didn't make a reservation because it was short notice (the website takes about 2 days) and they did not answer their telephone. Fortunately we were seated when we got there, though it seemed like they only had one small table available because they were saving the majority of the shop for a high tea reservation (which never showed up during the hour and a half we were there... hmm...). If you go, there might be a problem with availability, but it was alright for us. Have a back-up in mind, just in case.

Even though it's $25, it's well worth the money. The tea was delicious, and as mentioned before, the service is top notch. They provide you with an array of tea sandwiches (including smoked salmon, egg salad and I think turkey with cranberry?) I really enjoyed the light cucumbers to cleanse the palate.

After the sandwiches (and many, many refills of tea), they serve you dessert. This includes madelines, hazelnut truffle type things and a third chocolatey thing. However, the real treat are the scones. WARM, DELICIOUS, BUTTERY. They are served straight out of the oven with strawberry jam and DEVONSHIRE CREAM. The cream is so sweet and delectable ohmigoodness so wonderful. I LOVE SCONES. THIS ENTRY NO LONGER HAS ANY STRUCTUREILOVESCONESSOMUCH.

I'm intrigued to try their traditional English breakfast, which is only served until 11am.
Here are some photos to tide you over, but overall I thought it was great tea, scones and atmosphere.


Tea.


Sandwiches.


Dessertssss.


Foodies.

Paddington's Tea Room
355 Robertson Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90211
(310) 652-0624

Breadbar

When I was little my mom used to say that if I didn't behave she'd send me to prison, where they'd only feed me bread and water.

If they served bread from Breadbar, then I'd look forward to life in the slammer. (I don't know who I'd kill-- vehicular manslaughter, of course, because I don't want the death penalty-- but it would probably be a Baja Fresh executive or someone else responsible for introducing some sort of horror into this world.)

More of a regional detention center than your local jail, Breadbar delivers the goods to several restaurants in the area, including the Wilshire Restaurant.

And like any institution run by the government, they suffer from subpar customer service and a workforce that exhibits less motivation than a brick. Instead of greeting us when we entered, the server didn't even pay attention to our arrival-- eventually we had to ask for a menu. Likely graduates of The Milford School, these employees only speak when spoken to. We got our food after a party that arrived after us, and once we were done, we just sat awkwardly while no one got us a check. No one bothered to check up on us or offer water refills, and we were sitting five feet from the counter. During our visit though, every employee I saw did find the time to stuff their face with bread.

Awkward moments abound when we found out they mislabeled their bakery display case, incorrectly positioning a $4 dark chocolate bread loaf under the label of a $1.50 chocolate croissant. What was a bargain at $1.50 became decidedly less so when offered at $4.

Without the warm embrace of federal subsidies (like sick people who commit crimes and go to prison just because it's significantly cheaper than actually paying for the medical care-- the analogy continues!), prices were a bit on the steep side. $9 for a filling chicken sandwich or salad.

The food certainly was tasty, but I would prefer the bread to come for free as part of a much larger (albeit more expensive) meal or a life sentence. That's just how I roll.

(Okay, I'm REALLY proud of that last pun.)

Overall, Breadbar made me feel more or less:


-->Ravi

Sprinkles Cupcakes

I'd eat here every day if it rained money.



I don't know what to say. Sprinkles cupcakes are tasty. But they're also far more expensive than a cupcake of that size should ever be. $3.50 each or $36 for a dozen.

Other things you could get for $36:
3 books/dvds/cds
1 parking ticket paid
1 tank of gas if your tank holds 12 gallons and the price of gas is $3/gallon

As with all bakeries, the earlier in the day you go the better. For some reason, the concept of cooking food while you're open escapes pastry chefs. So, a late afternoon visit might mean a diminished selection and imminent staleness (just barely detectable, but there around the edges exposed to the air all day).

Someday I will make cupcakes that are that tasty, or embark on a plan to open a Caketorium that will drive Sprinkles out of business. Either way.

Sprinkles cupcakes make me:

(have feet that point outwardly stemming from a weird crotch)

But their price makes me:


(a sad and angry minority with bad teeth)

-->Ravi